How Becoming Parents Changed Our Relationship

by - March 02, 2020

If you know Alex and me personally, you’d know we’re totally different people. The best way to sum up our relationship and personalities is with this quote:

"There are dreamers and there are realists in this world. You'd think the dreamers would find the dreamers and the realists would find the realists, but more often than not the opposite is true. You see, the dreamers need the realists to keep them from soaring too close to the sun."
 - Cameron Tucker, Modern Family

I'm definitely the dreamer, while Alex is a total realist.  We're so different when it comes to our personalities, so I always knew our parenting styles would be worlds apart. Finding out we were expecting was super exciting but also more than a little daunting. The idea of trying to figure each other out in our new roles while we tried to also figure out our own really worried me and the effect it could have on our relationship. 

We were so comfortable being a duo, and it's so true what they say, kids really do change the dynamics of a relationship. You have a new priority, a new responsibility and your life has changed forever. It's a lot to take on and can really put a strain on your relationship. What worries me, a lot of the time Alex thinks is nothing and what Alex worries about I don’t even want to think about happening. 

I think ultimately parenthood has given us a whole new respect for each other. For Alex, watching me give birth, get up every time Axel wakes up through the night (he is entirely breastfeed, so it’s all on me) and spending my whole life caring for them both has reinforced how much I care, and how much I am willing to go through for them both. For me, watching Alex comfort Axel and support me has really made me realise he’d wrap us both in bubble wrap to keep us safe if he could and I’ll always appreciate him for that.

We've definitely disagreed, argued and each had to back down on a few occasions. At the end of it all, I know we only ever have Axel's best interests at heart and only ever want what's best for him, but because we're such different people we can end up butting heads on occasion. We're slowly figuring it out and falling into a routine and getting a little more comfortable in our new roles.

I guess the only advice I can really give to anyone starting this journey is to have some patience. You're both terrified, having a baby is a big deal! And no two individual experiences in life will ever be the same and neither will  your parenting styles. If you have a little patience with yourself, your baby and your partner, I promise you it will be such a rewarding experience.

I couldn't imagine going on this crazy journey with anyone other than Alex. I've always adored him, but now that he's made me a mum, our relationship is so much stronger.

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